the early bird gets the worm

to say that i'm not a morning person would be a riotous understatement. i loathe morning. i detest waking up before i'm ready to wake up. i hate the sound of my alarm. i get a sick feeling setting it at night before i go to sleep. they say "the early bird gets the worm." i don't really know what the early bird gets, nor do i care - i'm still dreaming blissfully. alas, i was challenged last friday night to wake up early on saturday morning (8 am. oh my word.) and spend time with jesus. i was pointed to psalm 119:147, "i rise before the dawning of the morning, and cry for help; i hope in your word. my eyes are awake through the night watches, that i may meditate on your word." the psalmist lost sleep, because god's word is so good, and he wanted to learn it. i was challenged to practice self-denial, sacrifice my saturday morning staring at the back of my eyelids, and instead stare into the heart of my creator. i accepted the challenge, and i even felt kind of excited about it. i set my clock for 8 am (it was 1:30 am), and hunkered down in my bed to enjoy my 6.5 hours of sleep.

i was awake at 7:52 am. eight minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off! i got up, put the dogs out, fed them, and pulled on an old clemson sweatshirt. i poured a huge glass of water, and i settled on to my couch with my snuggie, my journal, and the word. i was feeling pretty sleepy, so i went straight to the lord. i asked him to make me awake and alert, to meet with me, to teach me, and to encourage me. i asked him to make this time meaningful. psalm 119 has been heavy on my heart the past week or so, so i opened to that chapter and started reading. i read and journaled and prayed for two hours.

i thought about doing my typical breakdown, verse by verse, of what i had studied, but i think what i have learned the most about over the past couple of days is this: living sacrificially. sometimes i feel really good about the fact that i have a quiet time every day. no matter what, i cut time out of my day to spend time with god - even if it's just twenty minutes. usually, though, i sleep until the last possible second (6:20 am, in case you're wondering), go to school, and have my quiet time after i've taken a nap. that system is fine, but what is it costing me? absolutely nothing. in fact, i gain everything from it. i get extra sleep, i get a nap, it's convenient for me. when i started thinking about that, jesus reminded me of 2 samuel, when david says, "i will not offer anything to my lord that does not cost me something." ouch. there i was, feeling so good about my quiet times, when, in his goodness, god reminds me that it doesn't matter what i look like compared to other people - only what i look like compared to jesus.

the truth is, i'm not called to love god, to serve god, and seek god when it's convenient for me. my call is much different. romans 12:1 says "therefore, brethren, in view of god's mercies, offer yourselves as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to god, which your reasonable service." did you catch that? i am to be a living, breathing, walking, moving, talking sacrifice. my entire life should be lived sacrificially. everything i do should be to the glory of jesus christ, and it should cost me something. it's not a sacrifice if it doesn't hurt you a little to give it up. living my life as a sacrifice to jesus is the only way that my life is holy and acceptable to god. that's what he wants - he wants my whole heart, totally and utterly surrendered, tied with cords to the horns of the altar, all day, every day. this is my "reasonable service." this is the ONLY response to the grace which god has so freely and lavishly shown me. it's not an option. my life must be given in sacrifice.

jesus was the ultimate sacrifice. he gave his entire life - literally. his life. philippians 2:8 teaches that he "humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death." so what does sacrifice take? humility and obedience. philippians 2:5 commands me to have the same mind that christ had. i have to die. maybe physically - but not necessarily. i have to die to myself. i have to nail my sinful, selfish flesh to the cross every single day. i have to claim galatians 2:20 - "for i have been crucified with christ. it is no longer i who live, but christ lives in me."

as i'm trying to wrap this post up, i think the most effective words i can leave you with are these: he must become greater; i must become less (john 3:30). this verse is so entirely challenging to me, and it also reminds of a throwback stephen curtis chapman song (don't lie, you know you still love scc):

i want to make much of you jesus
i want to make much of your love
i want to live today to give you the praise
that you alone are so worthy of
i want to make much of yor mercy
i want to make much of your cross
i give you my life, take it and let it be used
to make much of you

sweet friends, surrender. live sacrificially. there is so much joy in the burning away of yourself.