you got soul

at the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. it turns up when you don't really expect it. it's like one day you realize the fairy tale might be slightly different than you dreamed. the castle, well it might not be a castle. and it's not so important to be happy ever after, but to be happy right now. see, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people may surprise you; and once in a while, people may even just take your breath away.

-grey's anatomy

let me tell you just how refreshing a few days away can be. not even refreshing - healing. once i finally made it out of last week alive, i so desperately needed to be out of greenville for a little bit. something about a salty breeze, hot sand, and a little sunburn can go a long way to soothe the soul.

i love what meredith grey said (the quote above) about faith. even on the days when i feel like everything is going the wrong way, somewhere inside of me, there's something that keeps holding on, because i know that God is good and He is faithful.

today i'm feeling overwhelmed with joy and excitement, because one of my best friends, the one and only lindsey arlene hammond, got engaged on sunday! i am thrilled beyond words for her, because i know that she is so happy! it's such a blessing to see people you love as happy as she is. i can't wait to help plan a wedding! although i'm going to be living with her...she better not turn into bridezilla. ; )

what i have realized lately is that my life is probably not going to turn out anything like i imagined - and that's a good thing (although if i'm being honest, i am not okay with that yet). if i could pick and choose life scenarios, i'd already be married, living in a cute little house downtown, working a part time job as a preschool teacher. since that didn't happen, my next choice would be to be seriously dating the person i'm going to marry, anticipating a ring anytime. also not happening. what do i have instead? a cute apartment that i can do whatever i want with; plenty of time to go where i please with whom i please when i please; a fun group of friends at church and a beautiful assortment of other friends from all over; a job that pays me well; time to explore things that i'm interested in. and while i can't lie, this doesn't always seem appealing to me, it is what it is, and i can't do one thing about it. i am right where i'm supposed to be. i have to keep learning this lesson over and over again. the truth is, my life probably won't look anything like what i have planned. i may end up in another state or overseas. i may end up single until i'm 35 - or single forever. i may end up married but with no children. i may end up meeting mr. right tomorrow. who knows. the things i desire for myself cannot be what define me or define this time in my life. jesus defines me now and always. not marital status. not job. not children. not weight. not hair cut. not number of dates i go on. jesus. i have to remember that. oh, Lord, help me remember that.