ohhhh grillllllll

i'm trying desperately to learn to love people the way that Jesus does. i fail miserably. i'm just going to be really honest: i find people so unloveable sometimes. people are selfish, mean, judgemental, untrustworthy, undependable (or is it independable??), and just plain not nice. and i am included in that description, too. when i remind myself of that - which i do regularly because i do/say/think things that make me thing, "ashley, are you serious??" - my heart hurts. i know that my attitude is so far from Jesus'. how in the world can He love ME? i'm the one who's unloveable! thank You, Lord, for being a faithful, patient, and compassionate Savior who loves me even when i fight against Your spirit that longs to change me.

sara and i had such a great time during accountability tonight. i am so thankful for her sweet and kind heart that always encourages me and empathizes with me, but also for her heart to see me become more like Jesus. she always points me to Him. we had a long talk about friendship tonight, which stemmed from colossians 4, and i was reminded of how important it is to surround myself with Godly people who build be up, pray for me, encourage me and who i do the same for. if paul, mr. "copy my life" himself, needed solid friends, i'm pretty sure i do, too.

i've finised studying colossians, and i've moved on to hosea (with sara). i think the Lord had me in mind when He wrote this story. not that i'm a prostitute (literally), but again, if you know me, you know what i mean. i can so see a time in my life where i lived in complete rebellion. i ignored my Father's discipline and love and mercy, and i pursued other "lovers." you need to read hosea if you don't get why i'm talking about prostitutes and lovers. it brings me to tears even now, when i think about the big, mighty, unconditional, life-changing, real LOVE of my sweet Savior. how far He had to reach to bring me back to Him from where i was. He was so patient and so faithful and so kind. He loved me even in my rebellion. He pursued the heck out of me, and in the end, allowed me (like israel) to experience ultimate heart ache and brokenness and devestation so that i would return to Him. thank You, Lord, for the measures You went through to bring me back, no matter how painful.

"beloved, don't believe all that you see
and don't you ever let anyone tell you
that there's anything that you need -
but Me"
-derek webb

listen to that song ("beloved" by derek webb) right now.

i am learning that truth and as i learn that more and more, i experience more and more joy.

so this blog was kind of serious. but i feel like that's what really matters. Jesus. and nothing else. : )

t-minus 15 minutes

woo hoo! going home in 15 minutes! well, kind of going home. going home for like 3 seconds to change clothes and let Bowden out and feed him and then head to anderson for membership class at new spring. however, there are a few things i should address:

yes, my dog's name is bowden, and yes, i'm keeping it.
i got 8 hours of sleep last night (as opposed to the 3 the night before) and it was GLORIOUS.
i've been sleeping with my windows open. also GLORIOUS.
i get paid tonight at midnight. holler.
i ate the best corn dog i've ever had in my life on saturday at the fair. and believe you me: i've had some good corn dogs. i mean, they're practically my favorite food.
i also had an entire bag of cotton candy. oh yes. delicious.
elizabeth and i are planning a thanksgiving feast for our friends. they try to pretend they're not coming and they're not excited, but they are...on both accounts.
i went to clemson last night to watch ksa play football. they lost, but they're really good and a lot of fun to watch. i took them caprisuns and granola bars like old times when i was the team mom. i miss those boys!
i have started reading nehemiah in the bible. it is AMAZING. nehemiah! who knew?!
i get to see my parents this weekend. YAY! i haven't seen them in a month.
the holiday season is officially about to kick off! halloween is a mere 2 weeks away, and i couldn't be more excited! christmas music anyone?!!
i need a halloween costume. ideas? let me know. stat.
i feel like i have not been home at all the past week. my poor child probably feels orphaned. after today, though, i'll be home every evening this week. finally.
i'm hungry. i just had some carrots and hummus and almonds, but i'm still hungry. i hope new spring is serving some good dinner tonight.
i want to go to highlands. it's so gorgeous this time of year, and i really, really, REALLY want to go!
i'm going to dallas soon! woop woop! fun little business trip.
elizabeth and i are starting something very exciting very soon...stay tuned for details!

7 minutes to go! i have to go be productive for a few more minutes!

turn yourself around and come back home...

i stole this idea from ehi. shout out to her.

Ashley is THE most popular name in the entire world. I meet more people with this name than any other name.
Bowden has become a real psycho biter. It's a little bit out of control. I keep on telling him "no" and spanking him, but he doesn't care. I think I'm going to get that spray that tastes bad and spray EVERYTHING. Including myself.
Can someone explain to me why Friday is a work day?? I fully supporte a four day work week.
Did you know that cats can have leukemia?
Elizabeth, Lindsey, and I had lunch together today. I wish we could do that everyday. I love them.
Fall for Greenville is this weekend! I can't wait to see Lee Brice and hear him sing MY SONG!!
Gray, Scott, Caleb, Liz, and I had dinner last night at Wild Wings. It was an unexpected surprise. And it was really good to see them, and for me, Scott, and Liz to clear the air about some things.
Hello, McCain Headquarters, this is Ashley. BAhahaha. Just a little exerpt from the calls Liz and I made tonight.
I have a problem: I am obsessed with chocolate Redi-Whip. I'm not kidding. I eat it straight out of the can. And I ate an entire can in one day. Granted, there's no sugar in it, and hardly any calories, but DANG.
Jesus is the best part of me. That's becoming more and more clear.
K. This is a tough one. I don't know any words (except for know) that really start with K and are words I like.
Love is in the air. I mean it is flat out everywhere. I mean, it's not in my air, because I apparently live in a bubble. But it's in the air surrounding everybody else.

I'm tired of doing this now. Byeeeeeeee!

lucky to have been where i have been...

go download (or buy, because i would never encourage illegally downloading music..haha) jason mraz's song "lucky." so sweet!

last night i watched "my girl." i forget how much i love that movie, because i don't watch it that often. i think that's probably because it makes me cry a LOT. it's such a sweet movie, though.

i am absolutely loving the weather today. it's perfect. i'm so happy fall is here. i've said it a million times, but this is my favorite time of year. i love it. something about fall makes me so nostalgic.

can i just tell you how excited about my life i am right now?? i am so thankful for the blessings i experience every single day. i have a sweet, crazy, and funny family. i have great friends. i have a precious little puppy who makes my heart so happy. i have an adorable, homey little apartment. i have a great job and fun co-workers. i have an awesome accountability partner who does not let me get away with anything. i have a great life. i'm realizing more and more what it means to really be favored by God. thank you, Lord, for loving your children.

things i love:
cool, crisp weather
leaves changing colors
curling up with bowden to watch movies in the evening
taking bowden to the dog park
my new houndstooth coat
that my mom always knows the right thing to say
new spring church
quiet times
that i have all of my eyelashes again (hahaha)
the calls joanna and i make to each other to whine about life
accountability and having sara call me out and tell me i'm slack
depressing music
music that puts me on my knees
chocolate redi whip (you have NO idea)
bottled water
my new mulled cider candle
night time