how could i forgot, mama said, "think before speaking"

i told myself i wouldn't make any new year's resolutions. i don't keep them anyway, so why waste my time by even making any?

well, against my better judgement, i made one. are you ready for this? my 2011 resolution...drumroll please...

grow up.

that's it. pretty simple. i want to grow up. i want to be a woman of integrity who is honest and mature and independent. i want to own my faith like i never have before. i want to think before i speak and before i act. i want to have mature relationships. i want to stop letting people walk all over me and stand up for myself. i want to learn to deal with the crap in my life like an adult. i want to have more perspective. i want to think about myself less and others more. i want to filter my thoughts and actions through the cross. i want to be a better listener. when i talk, i want to talk about things that matter. i want to have pure motives. i want to be more disciplined - about exercise, about my diet, about keeping my room clean (silly, yes, but if you know me, you know that my room needs all the help it can get).

i'm on the brink of twenty-five. 1 corinthians basically says "when i was a child, i acted like a child, but when i became an adult, i put away childish things." i think at twenty-five it's time to put away childish things. it's time to grow up.

i had a little tiny victory tonight. miniscule, in fact. i had an opportunity to run off and run my mouth to a bunch of other people. i didn't. i stopped myself (well, actually, the holy spirit stopped me). and it made me feel like a grown up.