footloose!

happy birthday, kevin bacon! i love you in "tremors" and "footloose," and i hope you get to dance and celebrate all day. much love.

thus far today i really don't have anything exciting to write about. i'm seriously tired, due to the fact that i got home around 12:30 and realized that my sheets (and the guest bed sheets) were still in the washing machine. fail. so i put them in the dryer and got on the couch, where i dozed on and off until 2:30. got up; put sheets on my bed; and went back to sleep. needless to say, that's not exactly ideal for my REM cycle. that said: i don't have anywhere to be after work today until 7:30. so before i go run, i will be taking a nap.

speaking of which: i ran yesterday for the first time since OCTOBER. OCTOBER!!! if you know me, then you know that i am a workout fiend. for the past three or so years i've been completely dedicated to the early morning workout and after-work workout. back in october i wasn't taking very good care of myself (due to a really stupid relationship - imagine that...) - i was tired and stressed out and not getting a lot of sleep and not eating much - and after a couple of runs my heart started acting up. do not misunderstand me: my heart was doing what's normal for my heart to do, just more often than normal (but it was because of the stress i was putting on my body). i, being the hypochondriac that i am, completely freaked out and stopped running altogether. after my annual check-up at the cardiologist, i was cleared (and reassured repeatedly that i was not going to die) to do whatever i want. i'm always clear to do what i want, but after those runs that scared me, i wanted to be extra sure i was okay. my poor cardiologist probably hates seeing me come through the door. i ask about a million questions, including "are you sure?" at least fifty times. since my heart typically freaks out after working out or dancing (and usually only once or twice a year), we know that it's just an adrenaline thing, and that i'm okay. so: i ran a mile yesterday, and i lived to tell you about it, haha. i didn't want to jump back in to doing like five miles a day, because me even getting on my brand new treadmill was a tremendous feat in itself, so i'm just going to let myself get back in to it slowly, until i get over my fear completely. hopefully that won't take long.

last night i had dinner with my brother, gray, and scott. they took me to pf chang's, because they missed my birthday. shame on them. however, my broken heart was mended when scott paid for my sweet and sour chicken. we got in to a really serious discussion about what happens to people in the middle of the jungle or rainforest or africa who have never heard about jesus. the question was "what happens to people who have never heard the name of jesus?" my brother is a total theologian, so he had a very black and white perspective. for me and scott it was a little harder to digest. what i want to think is that our god is merciful and compassionate and would not hold an innocent life accountable for not ever hearing about jesus. that's what i want to think. the sad truth is, though, that there is no "innocent" life. we are born in sin - we are evil by nature, and there is not one of us who is good (romans 3:10). i'm kind of wrestling with this today, because the truth is this: no one comes to the father except through me (jesus). no one. not even the man in the deep jungle of a deserted island who has never heard the name of jesus. it's hard to rectify the idea of an all loving, all merciful, and all compassionate god who is also just.

sorry for that incredibly heavy and somewhat depressing little tangent.

in other news: it is about forty-seven million degrees outside - the kind of hot that takes your breath away when you walk outside. you cannot tell me that global warming is a joke. my poor dog is about to go nuts, because we can't walk until late at night when 1. it's not so hot and 2. the pavement doesn't burn his little feet. we tried the dog park this week, and there was nobody there to play with! i think our walks these days will be restricted to around 8:30 in the evening.

i just had lunch, and now i am ridiculously sleepy. my lack of sleep and good lunch are well on their way to putting me in to a late-afternoon-ready-to-go-home-and-put-on-comfy-clothes-and-turn-on-food-network-and-take-a-power-nap coma.

this post has seriously been a waste of time - yours and mine. happy weekend eve!