who died...

...and made you king of anything?

shout out to sara bareilles for her new song "king of anything."

not too much has been going on in the oh-so-fabulous life of ashley gardner, but let me just give you a little insight in to a NORMAL day in my life:

over sleep. office floods while i'm the only person at the office. miss an important meeting due to aforementioned flood. lose debit card after lunch. diet coke explodes in car. go to chick-fil-a on the way to teach a class and can't pay for food, because i realize i have lost my debit card (6 hours after the mishap occurs). power point won't work for the class i'm teaching. $100 worth of groceries hanging on my arms and another diet coke rolls out of my car and explodes at my feet, drenching me, my cute blue dress, and my groceries in sticky, brown coca-cola.

yes, friends, this is an average day in my life. in fact, two weeks ago, after spending a mere 36 hours with me, my mother asked, "do you live every day like this? i mean, do these things happen to you every day?" by the time i got inside and changed clothes last night, all i could do was laugh. thank goodness for my sense of humor.

this morning my mom's advice to me was this:

"honey, you need to get organized. you are a disaster. maybe that's what you should do during this lull. just try to get your life together."

dear mom: if you want to make me feel better about my life, you could buy me things. i already know i am a disaster and that i need to get my life together. k thanks.

most importantly, lindsey and jason got married last weekend! it was the most fun weekend of my life! the rehearsal was fun, and the rehearsal dinner was sweet and thoughtful. liz and i gave our speech, and i think we did a really great job. after dinner, liz, shelby, and i went to blindhorse for a concert. we were so thrilled to see the band perry, but after we sat through about ten songs of some other guy (who looked like a country eminem), we realized that we were confused and the band perry opened for john deere eminem. again - these things DO happen to me every day. we decided that since we had already paid the $15, we might as well have fun. so i spent the next four hours in the middle of the dance floor by myself having a genuinely awesome time. the bridal luncheon was beautiful the next morning, though i was feeling slightly exhausted due to the fact that i went to bed at four and got up at seven. nevertheless, it was a great morning, and lindsey made me bawl my eyes out before noon. after that, my phone decided to break (point and case), and liz and i had to fly to verizon before our hair appointments. phone fixed, hair done, pictures taken, liz and i made a quick chick-fil-a run for the wedding party, enjoyed our super fast meal, and then it was go time! the wedding was BEAUTIFUL, and everything ran smoothly. the music was incredible. and the reception...holy cow. i was out of control. we never left the dance floor, and it was AWESOME. after lindsey and jason left at around 11:30, some of the wedding party and guests headed to wild wings to hear mighty mcfly (a fabulous 90's cover band). more dancing followed. by the time i got home at two a.m. i was dead tired. the next day my family and the ingrams ate lunch at macaroni grille, and gray and jenn came all the way from clemson. truely great weekend. and i was sore after all of my stellar dance moves that i had debuted over the weekend.


in other news, broken hearts heal a lot more slowly than i remember...and than i would like. i bounce back and forth between "whatever, i don't care anymore" and "i'm gonna die." it's a moment by moment thing. i'm working on it. emotions and feelings are interesting to me. you don't realize how much of yourself you invest in something. you don't realize how much of yourself you give away to something - until it's gone. and then in the midst of confusion and hurt and fear and anger and sadness and grief and loneliness and all of these other things, you realize that god is there in the midst of calamity. you realize that he needed to break you so he could put you back together.

i'm not a fan of brokenness. truth be told, i'm not a fan of anything that's not going the way i want it to. and i know and believe that god is god and god is good. i know that. and i believe that. i cling to that. and i choose (most of the time) to see life through that lens. but sometimes life is just plain frustrating.

this story changed my heart:

http://hellorighton.com/

take the time to read through zac's blogs, and watch the videos. it will help you to see your suffering - whatever it is, however big or small - in a whole new light. it will hlep you to recognize who god really is and what he desires for your life. enjoy!

lyrics i love:
can you tell me how we got in this situation
i can’t seem to get you off my mind
all these ups and downs
they trip up our good intentions
nobody said this was easy ride

after all we’re only human
always fighting what we’re feeling
hurt instead of healing
after all we’re only human
is there any other reason
why we stay instead of leavin’
after all

can we get back to the point of this conversation
when we saw things through each others eyes
cause now all I see is ruin and devastation
we all need some place we can hide inside and

after all we’re only human
always fighting what we’re feeling
hurt instead of healing
after all we’re only human
is there any other reason
why we stay instead of leavin

i’m smart enough to know
that life goes by
and it leaves a trail of broken hearts behind
if you feel i’m letting go
just give me time
i’ll come running to your side

can you tell me how we got in this situation
i can’t seem to get you off my mind cause
after all we’re only human
always fighting what we’re feeling
hurt instead of healing
after all we’re only human
is there any other reason
why we stay instead of leavin'
"human" by john mclaughlin