what do i know of holy?

i blog about love a lot, and today is no exception. exception. hmm. i like that word. let me explain why. last night, elizabeth and i were watching he's just not that in to you. the movie is hilarious, sweet, cute, very honest, and very insightful. what i've learned is that i am the rule. and as the rule, romance does not work in my favor. guys do not call me when they say they will. they feed me what i want to hear, then break my heart. guys date me while they're dating somebody else. they lie to me, and i believe it. guys see me as their best friend but not as their girlfriend. after all these years, and one very helpful movie, i have come to terms with the fact that i am the rule. however, i have hope. my favorite movie line (well, one of the many) is when alex tells gigi, "you are my exception." wow. one day, hopefully the lord is going to put somebody in my life who will be my exception. he will call when he says he will. he will be truthful and upfront. he will protect and cherish my heart. he will pursue me to be his wife.

here's the next part of this blog: what if i don't get married? i know i've written about this before, probably more times than you, my faithful followers, care to read about. but seroiusly, what if i don't get married? this is where jesus totally stepped in over the weekend and was working on my heart. do i long for jesus' return and rescue as i long for a husband? not a chance. do i want to? absolutely. paul tells us in philippians 3:20 that our "citizenship is in heaven." in 1 corinthians he calls us to wait eagerly for jesus' revelation. when i'm anxiously awaiting the return of the Lover of My Soul - the One who will bring complete and total satisfaction to the depths of my heart - my Savior - my Kinsman Redeemer - who cares if i'm married or not? oh lord, teach me to long and expect and impatiently wait for you.

and now for part three: single girl life is so not what i envisioned. upon graduating from clemson and moving to greenville, i imagined glamorous nights out on the town with my other single girlfriends (which, for the record, consist of eliz and jaime). i expected meeting other fun, single people. i thought i'd date more. i was wa-rong (credit to my favorite sonic commercials). the thing is, i don't feel tied to greenville. i don't feel tied to camden. my parents have their own life. i am thankful that they do, because at least my parents aren't divorcing now that the kids are gone. they are in love and happy and are enjoying life after kids. i'm glad. lindsey is getting married. again, i'm THRILLED for her. she's attached here. eliz lives with her parents and has all her family here. she's attached here. gray, well, he flew the coop a long time ago, and we'll never get him back. i'm not attached. i'm single, and i really don't see myself meeting anyone anytime in the near (or not so near) future. i feel like i need to GO. i need to breakaway (thanks, kelly). i need to do something big and scary and adventurous. but then my thought is this: would i really feel different in a different place? probably not. i don't want to do something just for the sake of doing it. i don't want to move away to make something happen - because when i try to make things happen, well...we all know how that turns out. i've got to learn to deal with this single girl life here. with my friends and family, who, though they all have their own lives, have graciously made me a pretty big part of them. oh this single girl syndrome. i'm gonna get over it. i think i'm making my own life, and i just don't realize it yet.