a few of my favorites from teaching and babysitting...
jimmy (1st grader): missuuus gardeeeneeerrrr!
me: yes, jimmy?
jimmy: i have a head ache.
me: i'm sorry. me too. why don't you get some water and put your head down on your desk for a minute.
jimmy: i don't think so. because that you are so beeeyoootiful to me, i think you should let me go home.
me: jimmy, you go home in 30 minutes. i think you can make it.
jimmy: but i can't, because the little man inside my head said i have to change my head. and he is talking very loudly.
me: umm. okay. what did he say?
jimmy: that i have to change my name.
me: well, jimmy, what do you have to change your name to?
jimmy: beef wellington.
jimmy: if i could be a girl, i'd want to be just like you, missuss gardener.
elise (4 years old): ashaley! ashaley! ashaley! look at me! ASHALEY! LOOK AT ME!
me (trying to have a conversation): elise, i need you to hush for 2 seconds.
elise: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS, MA'AM!
me: what animal do you know that walks close to the ground on the beach like that?
child: a ghost.
lindsey (5 years old): ashley, i have to pee NOW!
me: okay. hang on 2 seconds. we'll be home in just a minute.
lindsey: ASH, IF I DON'T GO TO THE BATHROOM NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE AN EXPLOSION IN MY PANTS!!!
lindsey (flicking off everybody in la fiesta while standing on his seat): I LOVE MY MIDDLE FINGERS!!!!!
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