i've been thinking about love a lot lately. i've come to some conclusions that you may have already discovered yourself, but i feel like i need to share them, nonetheless. and this probably won't be organized or in any order (as usual), but try to stay with me.
i would like to blame hollywood for completely misrepresenting love. this is really the thing that's gotten me thinking so much lately. women want a STORY. we want to go on a blind date and marry the guy 3 months later. we want to meet in the grocery store. we want to call a wrong number and fall for the person on the other end. we want to reach for the same movie at blockbuster and end up watching it together. we want to fall madly in love with a vampire and have a dangerous and passionate relationship with him. we see stuff like this all the time in the movies. think about romeo and juliet. titanic. never been kissed. pride and prejudice. you've got mail. all of these movies tell the tale of true love that comes about with a very romantic, but a very unexpected twist. think about the men in the great love stories. mr. darcy. edward cullen. jack dawson. romeo. women create standards for the kind of man they will love based on these "men." the sad truth is, however, that these men are not real men. they are created out of the ideal that we hold in out hearts. the perfect man that is strong and brave and confident, but conflicted and sensitive, who says the right things at the right time, who will love us passionately and who we can trust without fear of being hurt or abandoned.
ain't gonna happen.
men like this don't exist. the guy you fall for might not have edward cullen's style. he might not pursue you relentlessly like mr. darcy. he might not say the most romantic things you've ever heard. he might do things that drive you crazy. it's ridiculous for us to hold all men to the standards of hollywood men - characters who ARE perfect - because somebody else is writing their stuff and telling them how to dress and what to do. they are perfect because they're not real.
this is so frustrating for me. i can't help but want to marry mr. darcy or edward cullen or noah (from the notebook). but they're not real. that's not reality. and all it does is lead to a disappointing fantasy. i'm praying about this a lot lately. i obviously have standards. that's a good thing, i think. but standards are not deamnds that we make - not expectations. any guy i'm going to be with has to love jesus more than he will love me. that is the most important standard. he has to be kind to everyone, honest, financially stable, and family-oriented. those are important things. expectations, however, are things like him being 6'5", playing football, driving an SUV, wears great clothes, says the most romantic things in a completely non-cheesy way. i'm so praying that the lord would really change my heart. i don't want to miss something wonderful because i'm so caught up in a fantasy of what love and a relationship and a husband is supposed to be. i want to be with someone that the Word tells me is a great man. he loves the lord and his word; he is firm in his fatih; he is confident of who he is in christ; he is faithful to his wife; he loves and guides his children; he protects and provides for his family; he loves others and shows everyone kindness; he doesn't have a raging temper or filthy mouth. those are the things that are important. those are the standards that are good to have.
i'm really crying out to jesus to change my heart - to desire what he desires - even in a husband; to help me flee from the fantasy that hollywood has created; to cling to what i know is good and right; and to trust him to provide the right person, the right way, at the right time.
are you getting sick of all this talk about love yet? sorry. i'm just getting started! : )
good post
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