god decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through jesus christ. this is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. (ephesians 1:5)
i love this verse. i loved it before i knew that my baby would be adopted, but i really love it now. what speaks to me most about this verse (from the NLT) is that it says this is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. abba father wanted me. sending jesus to redeem me made him happy (don't misinterpret this - his glory is always his purpose in everything he does). adopting me into his family gave him great pleasure. i love how this verse really conveys the message that jesus was always plan a. this is what he wanted to do. this redemptive work - this adoption - this grafting of my sinful, wayward soul into the fold - this is what he wanted. this was the plan all along. adoption was the plan all along.
and just as my adoption into the kingdom was god's plan all along, the adoption of our sweet baby has been god's plan all along. he knew even before the moment of my soul's salvation that adoption would define my life: both in this world and for eternity. i love that. i love that before kenny ever met me - before he even knew this crazy girl who told him on their first date that she wanted to adopt - the lord knew that kenny would adopt a child to be his own. i have never believed in coincidence. but as i have journeyed through my 28.5 years, and as we stand on the bank of this new adventure, i am even more certain that there is not one tiny thread of my life that jesus has not ordained. psalm 139:16 tells us: your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book they were all written - every one of them - the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them. before i was even a thought - a dream in my mama's heart - the lord had planned and numbered and designed my life and my days. he already knew. he already knows.
adoption is costly. it cost jesus his life. it will cost us a whole lot of money that we don't even have yet. it's big and scary, and a lot of people don't understand it. but it was the plan all along. but this is what he wanted to do. jesus wanted me. so he paid the price. i cannot wait to look into the face of my precious child and say, "you are what we wanted. so we paid the price." people have asked us what we will tell our child - how will we explain adoption - how we will tell our child that we paid for them. our answer is always the same: we will share the gospel with her. [side note: when talking about the baby, we usually say her; kenny and i both just "have a feeling" that we will have a girl first.] we will share ephesians 1:5 with our baby over and over until the day we die: god decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through jesus christ. this is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. we decided long ago to adopt you, little one. you are what we wanted, and you have given us great pleasure. that's how we'll explain it. my eyes fill with tears just thinking about the moment that i get to share the gospel with my little one through her very own adoption story.
i've been thinking a lot about life post-adoption. i realized today that our baby will not inherit any of our qualities - looks, personalities, talents. i was feeling kind of sad about that, because there are a lot of things about kenny that i would like to see in our children (and only a couple things of myself!). then jesus reminded me of something: when he adopted me, i didn't have anything in me that was like him. i was his enemy, in fact. but when he adopted me, he gave me his righteousness - his glory - his goodness - his love - his kindness - his patience. he imparted those things to me. i don't have a lot of good in me, but the small bits i do have, i have because of christ in me. my prayer is that kenny and i will impart the best things about ourselves to our baby. i pray so often that jesus will magnify himself in us, and that will be what we give to our child. i would love to see a little girl with dark, curly hair (like her parents), olive complexion (like her daddy), and big, blue eyes (like her mama). i would love for her to be disciplined and organized and logical like her daddy, and passionate, opinionated, and stubborn like her mama. i would love to look at my baby and get a glimpse of kenny - and maybe sometimes myself. but more than that - more than i want to see me in my child - i want to see jesus in her. i want her to love like he loves. i want her to be kind. i want her to be generous. i want her to be faithful. i want her to be steadfast in her convictions. i want her to be humble and have a heart for service.
it's amazing, this story of adoption. the lord has used my own adoption to help me understand the adoption of our baby. he has used the adoption of our baby to help me understand my own adoption into his family. he has also used the adoption of our baby to cause me to fall on my face in awe of the great mystery and marvel and splendor of the cross. truly adoption was the plan all along. this is what he wanted to do.
No comments:
Post a Comment