my new full time job

we have a new normal in our house. it looks something like this:

i come home from work; kenny ends his work day from his home office. we catch up on the day, eat dinner, and then we begin our new full time job. that full time job would be adoption paper work. yall. i have never in my life seen such. we spend about three hours every night going through documents, reviewing our checklist, finding birth certificates, copying pay stubs, and mapping out our finances. kenny sits in his office chair, mesh shorts and old blue sweatshirt his uniform - and his tall white socks scrunched down. i always said i would never date a guy who wore tall socks. what became of me?! he admittedly wears them now simply to irritate me. #marriage. i'm on the floor, back against the wall, whining about my butt going numb from sitting so long. the dogs are curled up on the floor beside me. this is our new family time. the kitchen is a disaster. shoes are strewn all over the living room. our kitchen table is covered in both folded laundry and paper work, carefully stacked and categorized: finished, not finished, finished but need signatures. by about 9:30 each night, after two, three or four hours of work, it all just becomes really funny - like that really silly funny when nothing makes sense and nobody knows why you're laughing.

so that's where we're at. we're in the middle of collecting every piece of paperwork that has anything whatsoever to do with either of us. birth certificates, our marriage license, pet vaccination records, questions about our childhoods, descriptions of our parents, personal testimonies, bank statements, proof of insurance, etc. it goes on and on. while it is very safe to say that neither of us enjoys all of this, we're actually having a great time. i imagine this adoption process is similar to what a pregnant woman and her husband go through. i am, after all, pregnant in my heart (thanks, megan quigley. you're a gem.)! there's so much work - so much build up - preparations, plans, things to do, things to learn - all leading up to one remarkable moment: meeting your child face to face. everyday is exciting, because everyday we are one day closer to meeting our baby! i think that's one thing i would like more people to understand: just because we are adopting doesn't make us any less parents right this very second. some babies grow in bellies. some grow in hearts.

while i'm on this subject, i just want to say that my baby is as real to me right now as any baby ever born to any woman. and when she is born, and i see her sweet little face for the first time, she will be mine. mine. she will be as much mine as i am my mama's. the lines of blood and dna and genetics will all be blurred, and she will be mine. i will love her every bit as much as my mom loves me. i will carry her in my heart the same way my mom carries me in her heart. i will worry for her, pray for her, hope for her, dream for her, fear for her - the very same way my mom does for me. it will not for one second matter that our dna doesn't match.

i'm assuming most of you would appreciate an actual adoption update, not the ramblings of an adoptive mother's heart and mind. we have until december 5 to finish all of these pre-study documents, including having our background checks and finger prints. we have to return all of these documents with a $1,000 check. our goal is to have these things taken care of by next week, because we really want to get in to that december 12 training. that is one BIG way you can be praying for us: pray that we can complete all of this paper work and get it turned in next week; pray specifically that we are accepted to the december 12 training. here's the next big prayer request: i spoke to the adoption coordinator yesterday. she let me know that she didn't feel like our home study would even begin until february, because they are a bit behind right now. this pushes us back to even being approved until late february/march. please, please pray that the social workers would be able to quickly catch up on home studies, and that we would be able to move forward much faster than february or march. if this does not happen, please pray that our hearts would have peace and calm and be covered in grace to handle this wait. every day is closer to our baby, but every day feels like an eternity.

thanks for going on this wild ride with us!

xoxo.