some news

hello, blog enthusiasts! it's been a while. i always have the best intentions when i begin blogging again. alas. real life hits (AKA school) and that goes right out the window.

anyway. there is a real point to this blog, and it's an exciting one! a quick recap: kenny and i were married in june of 2013, and we knew we wanted to start our family sooner rather than later. fast forward 16 months, and we're still baby-less. that said, we have made a rather life-changing decision:

WE'RE ADOPTING!!

i have always felt strongly about adoption, and when kenny and i realized our journey to parenthood would not go exactly as planned, the lord began to lead us seriously in this direction. we made the decision last week, have chosen our agency, and are SO EXCITED about this journey.

it's amazing how quickly your mindset can change from, "i'll never be a mommy" to "i'm going to be a mommy." i finally FEEL like it's going to happen, and i really needed that. we are under no illusions whatsoever that this adoption journey will be easy or without pain and frustration. we expect those things going in to it. we also know that our god is bigger than any thing that may come our way down this road (somebody remind me of this when i feel like i'm at the end of my rope!).

what is truly incredible is how radically the lord can open your eyes and change your heart to understanding his ways. all of a sudden, knowing that our child will be adopted, i have new eyes. it's like i understand god's love for me a little better. i know i am only standing on the shore of what i will feel and understand and grasp once we have our baby in my arms, but it really is amazing to think about the love i already have for our baby. i don't know where our baby is. i don't know where our birth mother is. but i love that baby with my whole heart already. and i want it - not because i need it; not because it will do anything for me. i want it simply because i want it. i love because i love it. oh, the great and infinite love of jesus.

so here's the information i can give you so far:

the agency we've chosen to work with is bethany christian services. we have decided on domestic infant adoption. this means our baby will be from the united states, and more than likely, we'll meet our baby when he/she is born in the hospital. this was really important to me, as i so desire to have the experience of bringing a baby home from the hospital. we've submitted our initial paper work, and we're waiting to hear about our orientation date. here's where we could use your help: please pray that we would get into the next meeting on november 7. this is the last meeting this year, and we don't want to have to wait until march. we would really like to have everything done on our end by the close of the year.

other things you can pray for:

• of course, the november 7 meeting
• that we would be able to complete our home study with no major problems
• finances - this is a huge commitment, and we are working hard to get things in order to bring our sweet baby home
• our nerves (well, mainly mine!) - i can barely sleep at night, because i am constantly going over money, crunching numbers and dates, planning a nursery (did i say that out loud? just keepin it real), fighting butterflies of excitement, and confronting satan's attacks of fear with truth (let me tell you - this is exhausting!)
• our birth mom - wherever she is; that she is safe, healthy, taking care of herself, peace in the midst of what will be the most difficult decision she's ever made, and most importantly that she would know the love of jesus
• our baby - god alone knows the journey our little love will take to get to us; pray that he/she would be safe, healthy, cared for until we are together

we are over the moon excited about what the lord has in store for us. please pray with us and for us as we begin this journey!