let me just say that i think liars are disgusting people. i know that i have told lies before - we all have. i know that i can exaggerate, and i know that that is wrong. but people who are sneaky and manipulative and talk out of both sides of their mouths are incredibly dangerous. i've experienced first hand just how quickly they can destroy relationships and lives. recently i've run into some other situations where this type of person prevailed, and it makes me sick. it is appalling to me that people think they can just fabricate stories, be two-faced and sneaky and get away with it. sure, you might get away with it for a little while, but newsflash: the crap always hits the fan, honey. in dealing with one such person lately, i have learned that i need to be aware of their intentions and not be surprised by their actions. it's no surprise that one day they're sucking up to you, calling to check on you, telling you how much they care about you, and the next day they're saying hateful things, hanging up on you, and completely twisting stories to make you look bad. my favorite is when in a matter of five minutes they belittle you and then update their facebook status to some bible verse. love it.
sorry for that little rant, but honestly, people. what goes around comes around. maybe not now, maybe not in a year - but it ALWAYS comes around.
that leads me to my next point: i don't ever want to resemble that type of person. i know we all have our moments, but i desire integrity. i want to be the same person no matter who i'm around. i want to be 100% truthful - even when it's painful and hard. i want to defend the good in people, never throwing them under the bus. i want to choose to trust jesus, rather than trying to manipulate situations or people to have my way and to look better.
and that, of course, leads me to my next point: i need to be very, very careful who i surround myself with. don't get me wrong, i have great friends - all different types of friends who fill different roles in my life. lately, though, i've seen the repercussions of surrounding myself with people who do not build me up or encourage me in christ. it's not a pretty sight. and while i know that there are people in my life that i love and that i can continue to be friends with, i also know that i need to be more intentional about developing relationships with solid, godly friends who love me, hold me accountable, and build me up.
i am thankful beyond thankful beyond thankful for sara maria giffin. what a blessing she is. she has said this for a long time, but i'm really beginning to realize that it is so true: we share the same heart. it's such a relief to tell her something i don't really want to tell her - something i'm struggling with - only to hear her say that she is struggling with the same thing. THIS is why james 5:16 tells us to confess our sins to one another - there is healing in confession and repentance. it's good to know i'm not the only one dealing with the things i'm dealing with. last night in my kitchen, over salad and a bottle of reisling, i saw a glimpse of the body being the body. two sisters in christ, sharing a meal, praying together, and talking about our hurts and hang-ups and sins and ever-so-small victories. somehow, sara just gets everything i say and think and feel and try to articulate. thank you, jesus, for soul sisters.
and now, on to my favorite time of the day: lyric time!!!
cause i can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me
so i can say this is the way that i used to be
there's no substitute for time
(jm)
love.
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