wake up call

this morning my wake up call came at 6:30 am. actually, 6:24 to be exact. i technically had about 45 more minutes of sleep awaiting me, but instead i wanted to practice self-control and discipline and get up and spend some time with jesus before the day started. at least i started the day with a wise decision, right? i realize that even this one seemingly tiny good choice i made was made only because of god's grace. i am dependant on grace every moment - for every choice. and even now as i'm seeing all these areas of life that i want to fix and clean up and give to jesus - i can't even do that on my own. i've got to trust his grace to do what i can't do in my sin. i can't change myself, i can't save myself, i can't fix myself, i can't give myself peace or joy, i can't help myself move on, i can't help myself forget; only jesus can do those things. and i can fully rely on him to do those things. and instead of feeling overwhelmed by all of the junk that he wants to purge from my heart and my life, i can trust him when he whispers to my spirit, baby steps, my beloved; one step at a time; one choice at a time. so i made a good choice this morning. woo hoo!!

i settled into the couch with the word and my journal, and opened to psalm 25. one verse that really affected me this morning was verse 4:

show me your ways, o LORD;

teach me your paths.

lead me in your truth and teach me;

for you are the god of my salvation,

and i will wait on you all the day.

i decided to commit this verse to memory this week for obvious reasons. yesterday i talked about proverbs 3:5-6, learning to trust his ways and not my own. what a great follow-up verse. i like this passage because it reminds me that the work is god's. he will show, teach, and lead. all i have to do is wait. if i'm faithful to seek him, all i have to do is wait. amanda kendall used to tell me to pray scripture, because if it's in his word then it's a promise he wants to fulfill. his desire is to show me his ways, to teach me his paths, to lead me in his truth. what a powerful verse to pray!

lyrics that are encouraging my heart this morning:

let now the weak say i have strength

by the spirit of power that raised christ from the dead

let now the poor stand and confess

that my portion is him and i'm more than blessed

let now our hearts burn with a flame

a fire consuming all for your son's holy name

and with the heavens we declare

you are our king

we love you lord, we worship you

you are our god, you alone are good

let now your church shine as the bride

that you soar in your heart as you offered up your life

let now the lost be welcomed home

by the saved and redeemed those adopted as your own

let now our hearts burn with a flame

a fire consuming all for your son's holy name

and with the heavens we declare

you are our king

we love you lord, we worship you

you are our god, you alone are good

you asked your son to carry this

the heavy cross our weight of sin

i love you lord, i worship you

hope which was lost, now stands renewed

i give my life to honor this

the love of christ, the savior king

let now our hearts burn with a flame

a fire consuming all for your son's holy name

and with the heavens we declare

you are our king

we love you lord, we worship you

you are our god, you alone are good

you asked your son to carry this

the heavy cross our weight of sin

i love you lord, i worship you

hope which was lost, now stands renewed

i give my life to honor this

the love of christ, the savior king

"savior king" by hillsong