i think Jesus would rather reign in a wild stallion than kick a dead horse any day.
-lysa terkeurst

Thursday, May 27, 2010

i can't imagine life without you - without you

i truely cannot imagine life apart from jesus. it scares me to even think about it.

good news this morning (totally unrelated to jesus, in case you were wondering):
weezy will be out of prison on november 4th
ti and eminem are now best friends
ti's new album comes out august 17th
ti and eminem have a song on the new album

i didn't blog yesterday, because i had the day off. i so needed it. i just needed a breather. the next two months will actually be relatively nice with a lot of vacation time coming up - thank you, lord! i'm excited about taking my first whole week off of work since i've been here (2 years!).

this morning my flesh won the battle of the early morning wake up. my alarm went off at 6:30 for my quiet time, but unfortunately, i hit snooze until 7:40. the good thing is that when i get home today i'll have about 3 hours of down time. me and jesus will hang out then.

i have seen jesus visibly work in my life twice over the past 18 hours. one was a very silly way, and the other was more affirming:

1. last night liz and i were driving from the west end down to trio's to eat dinner, and we were talking about life and lost love and relationships and venting some frustrations. we were talking about how we so desire for god to just speak to us - audibly speak to us - because sometimes it feels like he's forgotten about us. right then - in the midst of crazy, packed downtown greenville - we found a parking spot right outside of trio's. it was such a little thing, but it really calmed my heart and made me remember that he does hear me. i'm here, beloved. i hear everything word. i catch every tear. i know every desire. i feel every hurt. but i've got you. just trust me. i'm not going to disappoint you. i'm not going to let you go.

2. the past few days i've felt like satan has really been attacking my thoughts - probably for the first time in a while i've been actively trying to have pure thoughts and let jesus control my thoughts. my spirit and my flesh have been warring like crazy. i'm realizing more and more that this life is a battle - and we can only survive if we rely on the power of god that raised christ from the dead. oh, that i would learn to do that. anyway. i got to my office this morning and opened my gmail to find my daily devotion from proverbs 31 ministries (if you're a woman and you do not subscribe to this you need to). the title of the devotion was "parking my mind on truth." oh, how my tired mind and discouraged heart needed to read those words. the truth is, of course satan is attacking my mind - it's an easy way to get to me, especially when that's one area that i'm trying to be aware of and trying to give jesus absolute control. i've got to keep going back to philippians 4:8 "whatever is true...meditate on these things." meditate on the truth. park your mind on truth. the truth will set you free. that's a promise.

something else the lord has taught me - or reminded me of - this week is that he does not disappoint. i think i told you earlier how i decided to commit psalm 25:4 to memory: "show me your ways, o LORD, teach me your paths; lead me in your truth and teach me; for you are the god of my salvation, and on you i will wait all the day." yesterday i was revisiting this verse, and i was doing kind of a cross-reference on the words "ways," "paths," and "truth." i came across this verse:

"your paths drip with abundance."
psalm 65:11
why wouldn't i want to follow god's path - his path drips with abundance. it's like excess of abundance! sounds good to me.
i also was reminded again to let jesus lead me in HIS truth - not the lies satan traps me in - but the truth of the gospel, of what the cross and the resurrection mean in my life, of who jesus is. because the truth leads to freedom, and freedom is what i desire and what jesus desires for me.
jesus, captivate my mind. show me your ways; teach me your paths; lead me in your truth, and teach me. illuminate the lies that satan feeds me. release my mind and heart from the bondage or sin and lies. help me to trust you. give me more abundance than i know what to do with and than i could ever have imagined.

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