lay it on me

every time i go to share my testimony - the real, nitty gritty, raw version of my testimony - i get a little nervous. i have only done this twice. last night was the second time, and i was shaking before i started talking. i shared it with the girls in my bible study. it has been weighing on my heart since i finally pieced it all together, and i started practicing it over and over and really praying for the lord to give me opportunities to share it and use it. it was my turn to share last night, so i had been praying all week for the lord to take my words and my story and make it all about himself. not about me or what i went through or what i felt or what i did, but all about how he used it and changed my heart and my life and "brought streams out of rocks." so i told my story (and i might add that i only teared up a few times), and it was incredible. it was tough to share such intimate details of my heart with women i haven't known for long, but when i was done talking i looked up to see several of them sitting there, staring at me, speechless, with tears in their eyes. they lovingly asked lots of questions, and i was able to share even more about how the lord has brought about reconciliation and redemption and restoration. we had a new sister join us last night, and she tearfully shared with me that she knows the lord led her to our bible study to hear what he spoke to her through me. it was awesome. i am so humbled and grateful that the lord would take this broken vessel and pour himself out all over the hearts and spirits of the women in my bible study. it was so awesome to see how they all could relate to at least some aspect of my story. they were not judgemental. they were supportive and encouraging and genuinely cared about my heart and my healing and my journey. they were not flippant. they did not take my story lightly, and they did not act as though i needed to get over it or move on. the holy spirit was seriously all over the place last night. it made me so excited to see how god wants to use my story in the future.