my heart is spoken for

i had a brilliant realization this morning. of course, this brilliant realization did not come out of my own wisdom, but from the gentle teaching of my Savior.

i have never had a serious relationship. however, i have dated a good many guys. i know instantaneously whether or not the guy i am with is the right one for me. for a long time i thought there was something wrong with me - why can't i just meet somebody i like? that wasn't the problem. i've always liked the guys i've dated, but there was never that thing - that moment - that feeling - that spark - whatever it is that i know is gonna be there when i meet the right one. it eventually got to be so frustrating that i began to believe (up until about 6 hours ago) that i would never meet the right guy. i'm too picky. i don't know what i want. i'm too difficult. i'm not going to get married. satan will try to tempt you with all sorts of lies when you're frustrated. but what i've learned in these past few hours while contemplating these things is that my heart is spoken for. my heart is not my own to give away. i've done that before, and it was not a good thing. Jesus has my heart, and He is graciously protecting it. that's why i don't fall for every guy i meet. that's why i know instantaneously whether or not something is right. i know exactly what i want, and i'm not compromising that for anything less. i beleive with 100% of my heart and soul and mind that when i meet the man i am supposed to be with, that i will know. and like my mom says, when ya know, ya know.

i'm extremely excited about the time when i finally know. and because of this truth that Jesus has shown me today, i'm prepared to wait for it. to wait excitedly and hopefully for the one He has for me. : )