today my life was totally put into perspective. sometimes i am so quick to complain about a bad day or something that has gone wrong. and while i've been through my share of "crap," i often forget that there are people who look at my life and long to switch places with me.
i was working with a volunteer today, when jesus gave me this great revelation. the volunteer comes in a few times a week, and seems to enjoy working with me. i don't mind, because we get to talk alot, and she is a huge help. we're the same age, but i think it was obvoius to both of us on day one that we came from extremely different backgrounds and families. today we were working an event, and she started asking me a lot of questions about my life and my family and college and my job. i started talking about all of those things - and if you know me at all, you know that i can go on and on about those things - and then i asked her about her family. she opened up to me about her family, how it is broken and her father passed away from alcoholism, her mother is a recovering drug addict, and she kind of got left behind when she was a child. she didn't have much guidance, so she got into some bad situations, but now she wants to get her life headed in the right direction, she just doesn't feel like she has the means to do it. then she said this (through tears, i might add): "you have the picture perfect life. i can see that. you've got a great family, you have a good job, you got to go to college for 4 years and get a degree, you're pretty, and you have a great personality. i don't understand why i didn't get to have that. i don't understand why some people get to have your life, and i had to have my life." she broke my heart. i started to get emotional, too, and i felt terrible, because i couldn't say anything. she's right. my life is pretty amazing. my parents were (are) awesome and raised me in the church, i have a brother who i'm close to and who is going to do great things with his life. not only that but i have extended family who play a huge part in my life and who i talk to on a regular basis. then i have this incredible group of friends (who might as well be family) who love me and support me. my parents put me through college. they helped me get my apartment. they bought all my furniture. they still help me out if i need it. i got a great job right out of college, and i can take care of myself financially.
it makes no sense to me either. i don't know why i got to have my life, and she has her life. it makes my heart ache though, to think that yesterday i was having such a bad day (and it wasn't a great day), but in reality, it wasn't a "bad" day at all. i woke up. i had breakfast. i got to take a hot shower with expensive shampoo and put on cute clothes that i bought because i felt like it. i drove to a job that i love and that pays me well in an extremely nice car that my parents gave to me as a birthday present. i had money to buy my lunch. i was healthy enough to work out. then i got to go to the grocery store and by eighty dollars worth of groceries - much of which i will waste. i don't know why i get to have my life.
what i do know is that i have an opportunity to build a relationship with my new friend. i can support her and encourage her as she tries to get her life straight. i can tell her that the only reason i have that my life is so good is because i know the god who is so, so good. i can point her to him every time i talk to her. i can show her compassion and kindness that she might not have known before. i can be her friend, even though most people wouldn't understand why we're friends. she's not a project. she's a person. a person with real hurts and real struggles and real frustrations. and i'm going to let christ breathe all over her through me, because she needs that.
oh man. i needed that. i needed a wake up call to the goodness of my father. he is good, because of NOTHING i have done. absolutely nothing. that is just plain crazy to me, because if anything, i've given him plenty of reason to NOT be so good to me. it brings me to tears. i get to have this life, because he gave me this life. and while i still don't know why my friend has the life she does, i can show her the one who can give her life that is rich and full.
excellent!
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