it's time for a new font. i got tired of looking at that little, squinty writing all over my blog. i'm sure your eyes could use the break, too.
happy earth day! i don't think the weather could have cooperated any better to give us a more beautiful day to celebrate!
it's been a few days, or more like a week maybe, since i've updated you on the happenings in my life and the things i've been learning lately. so put on your seat belt and hold on because here we go!
1. it is very, very hard for me to trust people. i've recently learned that. i knew it was something i would probably struggle with, but oh man. i'm not going to go into detail, but thankfully, i have some pretty great friends (sara, liz, lindsey, angela) who are walking with me in this battle. something angela told me really struck me. she said, "ashley, i think you really need another life experience to override the one you can't get past." ah! she's so right! when i think about my life in recent years, pretty much everything since april of 2007 has been affected by what happened in april of 2007. i've had a GREAT two years, but i can't think of anything significant that has happened since then. i keep going back to that. if i'm not pushing myself to move forward, if i'm not pushing myself to have and create new life experiences, i'm not going to! whoa. that is liberating! i don't have to be stuck on this!
2. sara and i were talking the other night about something we keep going back to over and over again. we don't know and trust who God really is. think about this with me for a second. how much of the time do you feel guilty for something you did or did not do? how often are you expecting something bad to happen in your life as a result of God punishing you? if we all answered honestly, i think the answer would be a LOT. we don't take God at His word. we don't trust that when He says it's got nothing to do with us, that it's really got nothing to do with us. He doesn't bless me because I'm good. He blesses me because He's good. He doesn't punish me when i mess up because Christ already took that punishment. why, why, WHY do i refuse to learn this lesson? why do i choose to live fearfully when i don't have to?
3. last night i was reading in psalm 68 (or 69, don't remember, 68 i think), and one verse says "let the righteous rejoice." for a split second i though, "oh man, i wish i were one of the righteous," because i was thinking of a saint or something. then the Lord spoke to my heart and said, "but ashley, you ARE righteous, because i made you that way." because of Jesus' work on the cross, i'm counted righteous. i have GREAT reason to rejoice. i get to celebrate my way through life! hallelujah!
praying that we all trust these things and live these things!
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